Why We Do What We Do

Thanks to some great people on Facebook, our page/blog is becoming more and more popular! This is extremely exciting for us, and is exactly what we hoped for when we started this journey.

Some people may wonder why we're putting it all out there for everyone to see.. Well, the answers are simple!

Reason 1: Accountability

Everyone can now keep track of not only our successes, but our failures. Because no one likes to air their own dirty laundry, it pushes us to go above and beyond so we don't have to. Also, should we fail, we have amazing people out there who will pick us up when we fall down.

Reason 2: To Track Our Progress

What girl doesn't love a journal? This is our online journal. Here we place our thoughts, struggles, victories, etc. We want to be able to look back and see how much we have changed.

Reason 3: To Motivate YOU!

I don't know about you, but I absolutely LOVE to see conquer their fat struggle, and I want to hear how they did it. Their stories are motivating. In the same way, we want to motivate you. We want you to see that the average joe can accomplish something phenomenal when they are determined.

Reason 4: To Motivate US!

YOU MOTIVATE US!!! Seriously, we love getting encouraging feedback. We love it when you cheer us on! It really makes a difference! When we feel like we can't, you tell us we can. Knowing that we have people out there that believes in us is so encouraging!

Thank you everyone for following us, commenting, etc, etc. We appreciate each and every one of you!!!

~Courtney

It's Been A While

Hola World! It's been a few weeks since I've been able to post anything, as I currently don't have internet access at mi casa. However, thanks to the local public library, I'm able to update!

So here's a few little milestones I've hit recently:

I went down a couple pant sizes (now at a 20/22 depending)

I've lost a total of 57 lbs!!!!

I currently weigh 2 lbs less than I did when I met my ex-husband. This is HUGE!!!

I'm feeling so great lately, not just physically, but about my life in general. I haven't been this happy since about 2004.. Gosh, that's a long time.

Also, I set a new goal.

As I've stated before, I absolutely LOVE roller coasters, but I haven't been able to ride one in years due to my size. Well, I've decided enough is enough! I'm not going to let another year pass without riding one. I'm NOT going to skip another county fair because there's nothing to do there but eat. Seriously, life is about living, not standing on the sidelines watching everyone else have fun. It's time for me to take back my life!

So, here's my goal:

On March 15, 2013, I will have lost at least 48 more lbs.

At that point, I'm going to go to Silver Dollar City and ride Wildfire!

I can't wait!!

~Courtney

Things I've Learned Lately

A while back, my mom gave me a book that she had purchased called, "Never Say Diet" by Chantel Hobbs. Let me tell you, it's amazing!

The author, Chantel Hobbs, was a 300+ lb woman and a mother of 4 who got absolutely tired of being obese and living the life she was leading. At that point, she cried out to God. After that night she turned her life around with God's help. Now, years later, she has lost 200+ lbs and she's a spinner instructor at her gym.

In this book, she tells about her personal struggle with weight and all the feelings that come with it. She also gives practical advice on how to change. While she does stress eating right and exercising, she goes beyond that and talks about how to change the way you think. If you don't change the way you think about things, you're never going to change for good. In order to tackle our problem we must first deal with the source of the problem, which in this case is your brain.

Anyways, there were several things that she said in the book that really stuck out and made me think. I decided that I would share them:

When pouring her heart out to God the night she decided to change, God told her this:

You are not being the best you can be.

Wow. How true is that? When you're overweight, or not even healthy, you're not living as God intended you to live. Being overweight has affected me in every area of my life, and mostly not for the better. Living this way is a mediocre existance or even a miserable one. God intended us to live a wonderful, joyful existance.

When you're overweight, people never see you for yourself, because they've already marked you as different.

Most of the moments in my day are thoughts of worrying what people think of me. This is extremely overwhelming for me, and it drives me crazy. Knowing the above statement is true in most cases actually put my mind at ease. If I already know what people are thinking, then I don't have to worry about it. God knows who I am underneath the fat, and that alone is what matters.

Start thinking like the person I want to be and not the person I have allowed myself to become.

In order for me to change myself, I can't keep thinking like the fat version of myself. I have to think like the healthy, fit person that I want to be. This means no excuses or feeling self-conscious. This means I now have to learn to love working out and even love how I feel when I go and work out. I have so much to work on in this area, but I'm not going to let that hold me back.

Once you've chosen this path, you're on it for good. There is no good excuse to get off course.

If you're ready to change, get ready to tell yourself the truth.

Making excuses is lying to yourself. Also, not telling yourself the painful truth will hold you back.

If you cheat, you're going to stay fat another day.

This has come to my mind when I'm tempted. I don't want to be fat, and I don't want to feel the feelings that come with being fat one more day than I already have to.

The pain of regret is far worse than the pain of discipline.

Nothing worthwhile is easy.

Amen to that! We can apply this in every area we struggle with. My regret is that I have lost so much time. I could have been living a life of joy, a life with more wonderful memories than I have. Living a healthy life is not easy, but I know it's worthwhile.

We always make time for things we love.

This one hit me the hardest. Do I make time for God? Not as much as I should. Can I really say that I love Him when I don't make time for Him? As I continue on this journey, I'm learning to replace my love of food and laziness for a love of God.

This book has so much wisdom to offer, and it's a pretty good read. So, with that being said, if you ever run across it, pick it up!

*~Courtney~*

Day Off Temptations

I don't know why, but my days off from work are the hardest days of the week for me. I don't know if it's because I'm bored, I have easier access to the fridge, I'm lonely, depressed, etc. Maybe it's a combination of all of those.

Whatever it is, I'm fed up with it!

Today, on my day off, I'm attempting to change this pattern. I'm trying to keep myself busy. In fact, as I write, I'm sitting at the library far away from my fridge and WW ice cream bars.

I'm trying to keep my mind entertained with "happy thoughts" instead of my lifelong failures.

I'm trying not to associate food with relaxation and comfort.

I'm trying to teach myself to "eat to live" instead of "living to eat."

Who would have ever thought this would be so hard?

Well, cheer me on..

On days like this, I need it.

Weigh Day!

During my first week on Weight Watchers, I lost:

Drumroll please..............

5 LBS !!!

Yeah buddy!

Towards the end of the week, I was just so sure that I wasn't losing anything, so it was a wonderful surprise when I stepped on that scale! It's really great knowing that your lifestyle and eating changes are making a difference. I met my weekly goal of losing 5 lbs, so I am currently over the moon. Here's hoping to another 5 lbs down for next weigh in!

I'm also thrilled to announce, that my partner in crime - Courtney lost a whooping 7 lbs!!!! I am SO proud of her!

This round goes to the DIET DIVAS!!!!

DIET DIVAS - 1

FAT PANTS  - 0

Collectively we have lost 12 lbs the first week! It may not seem like much, but when you look at how much just 10 lbs is, you can tell, we kicked some ass!

~Kelleigh

Excuses, Excuses!

Gotta love excuses! They get you out of ANYTHING. I've been finding that I give excuses to myself more than I give them to anyone else. I think that's the case with everyone out there. We tell ourselves why we cannot do things all the time. Here are my top excuses:

"Today has been a rough day. I'll just start tomorrow."

"Oops. I don't have time to make my lunch, I'll just eat out."

"I'm doing so good! One little bite won't hurt!"

"Ugh.. I don't want to be the only fat chick at the gym.. I'm not going."

"The kitchen is a mess. Can you say "takeout?!""

"I've worked hard enough all day.. It's time to relax!"

"I've already failed.. This day is shot. I'll try again tomorrow."

"Just a little chocolate will make me feel better!"

I could go on and on and on. It is so hard to break the habit of making excuses. I caught myself off guard one day when in the midst of making an excuse. I was thinking, "Ooo, I've dropped 5 lbs. I can reward myself with a treat!" All of the sudden, my lovely voice of reasoning screamed at me, "Noooo! You may have dropped 5lbs, but you are still obese! No treat!"

This instance got me thinking about all of the excuses I make, and how I really have to break this terrible habit. When making excuses previously, the little saying, "A moment on your lips, forever on your hips" use to work. Not so much anymore.

I do believe this is where prayer and self-control come in. I can pray and I know God will help me, but I also firmly believe in doing your share. I can pray all day long that God will give me self-control, and I know He will, but it is up to me to use it. God knows I rarely use the self-control He's given me.

Once upon a time, I talked to my counselor about self-control. She gave me some wonderful insight. She said that if you're not in the habit of using self-control, trying to tackle everything at once will lead you to become overwhelmed, and you will usually fail. However, if we take small steps at utilizing self-control, you'll more than likely succeed.

For instance, I'm obsessed with Diet Coke. I have the habit of drinking it like it's water, and I know I need to cut this out. So, if I make my mind up to drop one soda each day for a week, and utilize self-control over this small area, the next week it'll be easier to drop two sodas per day, and so on.

I'm attempting to apply this concept in a couple different areas of my life. So far, it's been hit and miss. Some days are better than others. I know that it'll come as I continue to work on it with God's help.

*~Courtney~*

Current Inspiration for Losing Weight

1. Roller Coasters

Because of the harnessing or weight limits on most rides, I have been unable to ride roller coasters for the past few years. Riding roller coasters is my absolute favorite thing to do. It pains me to go to Silver Dollar City or the county fair and watch my friends or family ride the roller coasters without me. I miss the thrill and excitement that they bring. I also miss the feeling in your gut when you're about to drop down a hill. I want to experience it next summer.

2. Shopping
When you're overweight, you're limited to stores like Lane Bryant. When I go to the mall with my girlfriends, I can only browse the accessories section. In the meantime, I fell like everyone is thinking, "Why is this cow in here? Nothing fits her!" I don't want to have to feel or shop that way. I want to go into a skinny girl's store and find amazing deals on cute clothes. I want to shop with ease.

 

3. The Man
I don't care who you are, every woman wants someone to find her utterly desirable. When I find "The One", I want him to think that I'm incredibly sexy! I want to be the best I can be for him (whoever that lucky man may be!)

 

4. Babies!
Once I've got the man and settled down, eventually I would like to be a mother. Because my weight is mostly the reason I have PCOS (besides the actual cysts themselves), at this time, I cannot have a child. Also, I wouldn't want to put my child's life in danger because I'm unhealthy. So, if/when I ever have children, I want to be an active mother. I also want to be a good influence on them as far as health, exercise, and nutrition are concerned.

5. Overall Health
I will be able to move about without hurting my back or losing my breath. I will be able to do more for a longer period of time, as I will have more energy. My PCOS will get better. My foot would probably start to heal when there's not so much weight on it. I will be able to sleep better. My diabetes and high blood pressure will be gone.

6. I Can Serve God Better
Obesity is a sin as God never intended us to live this way. He designed us to be healthy, and as stated in the Bible, our body is His temple. When you're living in sin, you can't serve God effectively. Also, I won't have physical and emotional limitations as I do now because of my weight.

7. Live Longer
We all know that added weight can shorten your life. I only have one shot at this life on earth, I don't need to shorten it.

8. Self-Esteem
This one is huge for me, As I've stated before, most moments in my day are thoughts about my weight and how people view me. Also I think about all the things I want to do but can't because of my weight. Once I lose weight, I know my self-esteem will improve immensely. One that improves, I will gain the confidence that I need to accomplish everything I've ever wanted to do.

9. Chairs
It is absolutely exhausting having to consider your weight in everything you do, especially the little things. Before I sit in a chair I've never been in, I pray that it doesn't capsize underneath me. Of course, it never has, but I don't want to have to think about it. Also, I'm so fortunate that I haven't been kicked off an airplane yet because of their chairs. Grant it, I don't fly much, but when I have, it's been a struggle. First of all, it's hard to get a big butt in those tiny seats. Secondly, I've literally had to rub elbows and knees with the person next to me because I can't sit properly. Finally, the seat belts are an issue. Sad to say, unless I'm on a plush airplane, I don't fit in their seat belts. Because having to ask for a seat belt extension is absolutely humiliating, I've developed a way to ride a plane without having to buckle. The answer? A jacket. Draping a jacket across your lap or putting it over your shoulders so that the stewardess doesn't boot you off the plane or give you an extension is completely ingenious, but extremely unnecessary. I want to ride with ease and comfort.

10. WOW!
Have you ever imagined yourself walking in a room and everyone turning their heads? Have you ever wanted people to say that you look fabulous or amazing? I have. Even though I'll probably never turn heads, I do want to leave people with a lasting impression of me. I also want people to say, "You look AMAZING!" Some may call that conceded, but I don't think it is. We all want to look our best and be our best, and we want people to recognize that. I don't want people to view me differently because of my size and I don't want people to remember me as "the big woman." I want people to know me as a woman who takes pride in how she looks and treats people with absolute kindness and hospitality. I want to leave a "WOW" impression on everyone I meet. I also want to wow my family and friends, as they have seen my struggles over the years.

This list has taken me time and a lot of thought for me to complete. Sure, there are many other inspirations, but the ones I've listed are huge for me. I had to write this down so that I could remember in the hard times why I'm doing what I'm doing. Also, I wanted to encourage anyone who needs an inspiration for accomplishing a particular goal, whatever it may be.

Sometimes we lose sight of the things we desire because of a few negatives, but if we are mindful of all of the positives, we are more likely to push towards our goal. If you have a goal in mind, I highly encourage you to write down your inspirations for completing this goal. Also, I would place this list in a place you can see every day so that you have the daily reminder of what you want to do or become. Who knows, it may not only inspire you, but it may inspire your loved ones as well.

*~Courtney~*

Courtney's Story

Growing Up:

I grew up in the best home imaginable. Sure, our family had problems, as all do, but my parents did an amazing job at raising their family. My parents married right out of high school and started their family. They had two girls and one boy (Caroline, Christopher, and myself.) Through we've lived in other states, we primarily grew up in Arkansas (Go Razorbacks!)

When puberty struck at age 10, I started feeling awkward and ugly. I was made fun of a lot this year because of vicious rumors started amongst some of my lovely (sarcasm) classmates. Luckily the next year, my parents decided to put us in a private school (Whew!). No one knew me, and my initial awkwardness of puberty had subsided. I was one of the unpopular ones still, but I had great friends (including Kelleigh!) to make up for it.

After this school year, we were home schooled until I was in 10th grade. We then returned to private school. A lot happened this year: I lost my best friend due to catty girl problems (Ladies, don't judge- you know you've been there too), we changed schools, and I dealt with my first ever broken heart. I gained weight bringing me to a whopping 215 lbs. Depression set in this year. When I graduated in 2003, I weighed 225 lbs.

College:

I started college in the spring of 2004. The college I attended was only 45 minutes from home, but I was so homesick! I loved school my first semester. My second semester was so tough, and I thought about quitting and returning home as I was so depressed. Instead, I saw a counselor. I met with her for months, faced my issues, and started taking happy pills (WOOHOO! Go Lexapro!)
During this time, I also started attending a religious study group with some friends. I still struggled with my depression, but things seemed to be getting better. For the next year, I went to church with the religious study group. However, during the summer prior to my 4th semester at college, depression read its ugly head due to so many different factors. During a summer, I gained 50 lbs and I started smoking.

That fall, some things happened at the church I was attending that pushed me further in my despair. I hated life and school and I blamed God. I wanted to get away from it all, and I withdrew from school.
I returned home with the hopes that things would be so much more amazing than the life I was leading in college. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Depression followed me there (Who knew that running from your problems doesn't solve them?!) I worked at McDonald's, was in debt, and was dealing with a broken heart yet again.

2006- Present:

I thought I finally had caught a break. I stared working a wonderful company doing something I loved doing. I also met a man who I thought was the man of my dreams, and in 2007, we were married. Within the first 3 months of marriage, my husband was deployed. I was also very sick and found out that I had PCOS, amongst some other health issues. It was a pretty rough time, and it only got harder as time passed. I found out that my husband hadn't been faithful. Also, he returned home early from Iraq with severe PTSD, and became extremely abusive. This time was the hardest of my life. I felt like I was suppose to be a good wife and stay "for better or worse," but I felt so defeated. Needless to say, I fell deeper into depression and gained more weight, bringing me to my all time high of 330 lbs.

In 2010, things started to change. My husband was being discharged from the service, which meant a move and hopefully a new life. Shortly after he was discharged, I finally realized that things were never going to change with him (the cheating, lying, and abuse), and we decided to end our marriage. It was one of the most challenging things I had to go through, but looking back, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Since then, I've been working on finding myself again, and becoming who I want to become. I don't know exactly what I want out of life, but I do know that I want to be healthy. I don't want to settle for a mediocre existence, but I want to live a glorious adventure. I know that being healthy will get me to where I want to be, and I'm so excited to start this journey with one of my best friends by my side!

*~Courtney~*

Before Pictures: