Growing Up:
I grew up in the best home imaginable. Sure, our family had problems, as all do, but my parents did an amazing job at raising their family. My parents married right out of high school and started their family. They had two girls and one boy (Caroline, Christopher, and myself.) Through we've lived in other states, we primarily grew up in Arkansas (Go Razorbacks!)
When puberty struck at age 10, I started feeling awkward and ugly. I was made fun of a lot this year because of vicious rumors started amongst some of my lovely (sarcasm) classmates. Luckily the next year, my parents decided to put us in a private school (Whew!). No one knew me, and my initial awkwardness of puberty had subsided. I was one of the unpopular ones still, but I had great friends (including Kelleigh!) to make up for it.
After this school year, we were home schooled until I was in 10th grade. We then returned to private school. A lot happened this year: I lost my best friend due to catty girl problems (Ladies, don't judge- you know you've been there too), we changed schools, and I dealt with my first ever broken heart. I gained weight bringing me to a whopping 215 lbs. Depression set in this year. When I graduated in 2003, I weighed 225 lbs.
College:
I started college in the spring of 2004. The college I attended was only 45 minutes from home, but I was so homesick! I loved school my first semester. My second semester was so tough, and I thought about quitting and returning home as I was so depressed. Instead, I saw a counselor. I met with her for months, faced my issues, and started taking happy pills (WOOHOO! Go Lexapro!)
During this time, I also started attending a religious study group with some friends. I still struggled with my depression, but things seemed to be getting better. For the next year, I went to church with the religious study group. However, during the summer prior to my 4th semester at college, depression read its ugly head due to so many different factors. During a summer, I gained 50 lbs and I started smoking.
That fall, some things happened at the church I was attending that pushed me further in my despair. I hated life and school and I blamed God. I wanted to get away from it all, and I withdrew from school.
I returned home with the hopes that things would be so much more amazing than the life I was leading in college. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Depression followed me there (Who knew that running from your problems doesn't solve them?!) I worked at McDonald's, was in debt, and was dealing with a broken heart yet again.
2006- Present:
I thought I finally had caught a break. I stared working a wonderful company doing something I loved doing. I also met a man who I thought was the man of my dreams, and in 2007, we were married. Within the first 3 months of marriage, my husband was deployed. I was also very sick and found out that I had PCOS, amongst some other health issues. It was a pretty rough time, and it only got harder as time passed. I found out that my husband hadn't been faithful. Also, he returned home early from Iraq with severe PTSD, and became extremely abusive. This time was the hardest of my life. I felt like I was suppose to be a good wife and stay "for better or worse," but I felt so defeated. Needless to say, I fell deeper into depression and gained more weight, bringing me to my all time high of 330 lbs.
In 2010, things started to change. My husband was being discharged from the service, which meant a move and hopefully a new life. Shortly after he was discharged, I finally realized that things were never going to change with him (the cheating, lying, and abuse), and we decided to end our marriage. It was one of the most challenging things I had to go through, but looking back, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.
Since then, I've been working on finding myself again, and becoming who I want to become. I don't know exactly what I want out of life, but I do know that I want to be healthy. I don't want to settle for a mediocre existence, but I want to live a glorious adventure. I know that being healthy will get me to where I want to be, and I'm so excited to start this journey with one of my best friends by my side!
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